Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
