We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize
