He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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