Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Randomize
