his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
