420 ftw
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
