at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
