now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Randomize
