If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
