Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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