One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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