It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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