what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Drunk is a universal language darling
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