I just saw a hot homeless man
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
