He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
