she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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