and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
where does the pee come out of this thing
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Randomize
