we're blogging at a bar
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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