is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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