Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
