Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
