I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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