Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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