Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
