Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
