You just made me feel so damn special
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
