About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
