I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
