I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize