i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
