Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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