It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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