So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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