Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
NoShamevember. You game?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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