i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
