Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
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