How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Randomize
