I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Randomize