Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
