You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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