It's like a parade of train wrecks.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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