just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
