I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
