I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
