I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
