I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
People in love make me want to vomit
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
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