I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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