Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
