And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
