He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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