That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize