Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
