i was born a porn star she said
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
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