omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
