Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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