I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
