She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
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