She said her name was "party"
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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