Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
