we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
