wake up i wanna do it froggy style
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
