so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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