is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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