Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
