does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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