She is in my trunk
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
