For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
