Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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